There are 32 countries that allow marital rape. Of the 150+ countries that do, some explicitly criminalize it, some it is simply considered the same as non-marital sexual assault etc. Some of those countries may in theory not exclude marital rape from being a crime, but those laws have never been tested, in effect meaning that men are free to rape their wives because the police and justice system will not prosecute. In the US, marital rape was fully criminalized in 1993, though each state has its own laws governing whether it is treated the same as other rape and/or explicitly outlawed. 1993 is terrifyingly recent, less than a decade before I was born. The idea that marital rape is even considered possible is relatively recent, and pushes aside many thousands of years of religious traditions that hold that one of the duties of marriage is sex with ones spouse. 

The duty of wives to be obedient to their husbands, particularly sexually, is a theme in many religions, including all three Abrahamic faiths and Hinduism. This art piece tries to show the overwhelming amount of scripture in many different faiths that assert a husband’s authority over their wives. Some are admittedly smaller snippets from longer passages that could perhaps be interpreted differently. However all are or have been used to justify the abuse and subjugation of women for thousands of years. And women internalize such passages. Higher religiosity is correlated with higher rates of victim blaming, shame, and belief in rape myths. To be a good Christian (or Jewish, Muslim, etc.) wife involves, if scripture is followed literally, obeying one’s husband and giving him sex, whether she wants to or not. And that is something that all people of faith need to confront regardless of whether they take scripture literally or not. Without that confrontation, women will continue to be abused and silenced in the names of religions.

Bibliography

Deosthali, Padma-Bhate, Sangeeta Rege, and Sanjida Arora. “Women’s Experiences of Marital Rape and Sexual Violence Within Marriage in India: Evidence from Service Records.” Sexual and Reproductive Health Matters 29, no. 2 (2022): 2048455–2048455. https://doi.org/10.1080/26410397.2022.2048455.

Kim, Deborah. “Marital Rape Immunity in India: Historical Anomaly Or Cultural Defence?” Crime, Law and Social Change 69, no. 1 (02, 2018): 91-107. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/s10611-017-9705-3. https://ezp.lib.rochester.edu/login?url=https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/marital-rape-immunity-india-historical-anomaly/docview/2002183689/se-2.

Lilley, Caroline, Dominic Willmott, Dara Mojtahedi, and Danielle Labhardt. 2023. “Intimate Partner Rape: A Review of Six Core Myths Surrounding Women’s Conduct and the Consequences of Intimate Partner Rape” Social Sciences 12, no. 1: 34. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci12010034

Messina-Dysert, G. (2015). Rape Culture and Spiritual Violence: Religion, Testimony, and Visions of Healing (1st ed.). Routledge. https://doiorg.ezp.lib.rochester.edu/10.4324/9781315744605

Piggott, Danielle Marie. “The Role of Religion in Rape Acknowledgement and Disclosure.” ProQuest Dissertations Publishing, 2021.

Images were all Public Domain.

I’d like to thank my housemates, Svetlana and Delaney for providing some feedback/suggestions on my final art piece.

20 thoughts on “Being a Good Religious Wife

  1. This is a really cool concept! I like how the text is in a deep red and is really reminiscent of blood showing how harmful it is for women to feel that their bodies are beholden to another person. I am wondering where you are seeing the data that “higher religiosity is correlated with higher rates of victim blaming, shame, and belief in rape myths”. I also wonder about your assertion that to take scripture literally is to require sex from women when in many of the traditions we studied it seemed like that was an interpretation of scripture but not a direct translation of it.

  2. I loved this artwork because I can see the messages you are trying to spread across scripture that has been used as a guide to what is being a good wife. It interesting the use of colors and the position of the bride in front of the bed. It seems like the bride is opening her arms unwillingly to accept these scriptures. It’s disturbing to see how so much has been written about controlling women’s bodies and perpetuating marital rape.

  3. I did not know that marital rape was not criminalized in some countries. I would be curious about which countries these are and what religious affiliation they have. I like the creativity of your project and the framing of the phrases you picked out with the image theme. In a purely Christian household, with the man acting as the head of the household over the woman, according to your bible quote they are entitled to sex whenever they want regardless of the wife. I wonder if any sex in this manner , even if the woman claims to be accepting of it would be considered truly consensual according to current power dynamic consent laws.

  4. This project is really meaningful, and I love the form you present it- through the art, color, and the figure, I could feel the kind of tension and struggle in women in marriage. I agree with you that there are cases when women were taught that they will not be raped in marriage, and therefore there will be self-blaming when they feel bad after any sexual intercourse. The way you bring in religious statistic and explained how there are positive correlation between religion and the sexual abuse. I think there is the problem of ‘consent’, which most women would think how marriage work as a consent and therefore men could have sex whenever they want- which is problematic. Thank you for sharing!

  5. I appreciated that you chose a medium that was challenging for you. I know you said you weren’t artistic in your presentation, but I beg to differ! Your digital art piece is phenomenal: it is impactful, the research you did is clear when looking at the art piece, it is creative, and the effort you put into it is clear. This topic is important as it is a real and latent problem, especially in religious communities. It is important to look into religious justifications for issues that are occurring in contemporary times. I learned a lot based on your presentation, and I think you did a great job at implementing all the research you did into your art piece!

  6. I think you did a good job with the art piece – the red text is fitting and I like how it lines up with the woman’s bridal veil. It’s sad and shocking to hear about how marital rape was only outlawed 30 years ago in the US, yet there are still loopholes like with that Oklahoma law. I also like how you pointed out how women have internalized these messages and may not realize what has happened to them by their husband is rape, because they’ve spent their lives being told it’s impossible to be raped by your spouse.

  7. Your presentation was very informative because I had no idea so many countries allow marital rape to be considered “legal”. It is so disappointing to hear about how normalized marital rape is in so many cultures but I appreciate you raising awareness to this topic. I think your visual presentation is a very unique and powerful way to highlight and express how religious texts are so repressive of women in their own marriages.

  8. This was an extremely informative and disheartening presentation, thank you for spreading this awareness. It is very sad how recent the changes in legislation have been, but it means we are moving in the right direction. I hope to see some change in religious teachings and allow people to practice proper consent within marriages.

  9. Your choice of art as the medium for this project was a really cool way to integrate so many different aspects of being a religious wife. It’s very scary to think about how marital rape may be far more prevalent than we perceive it to be because it so often goes unreported. I find it very sad how so many women who have experienced this likely do not even realize the criminality of it and may end up feeling like they are not fulfilling their duties as wives for not wanting to have sex with their husbands all the time. Thank you for bringing some of this to light!

  10. This presentation was very useful. I think this topic is not talked about much and that is upsetting. Individuals think that if two people are married then they can have sex with their partner without consent, when did this ever become okay? The fact that marital rape is considered not a crime is disgusting. I think people view sex in a marriage as an obligation and not a choice. The artwork you made is really powerful!

  11. I think you did an amazing job with your digital art piece, it simultaneously sends a powerful message while also being visually appealing. I had no idea that so many countries allowed marital rape and it was horrifying to see how 10-14% of wives have/ will be sexually assaulted in marriage. The passages you included from the Bible also really highlighted the notion that women are not granted autonomy over their body within marriage. Really informative project

  12. Excellent way to display this topic! Often art is one of the best ways we can get our point across and this is an example! The looming imagery of the words of different religious texts being used as justification for martial rape is really sticking with me. I think we often forget that married individuals, especially religious married women in seemingly happy marriages, are at risk of their consent being violated and then subsequently justified by religion. Such an important topic to bring to the class!

  13. In my life so far, this topic has not been discussed enough and I’m so glad that you brought light to it. Your art piece was such a powerful and creative way to visually represent your research. It shocked me to learn that marital rape was not entirely outlawed in the United States until 1993 – it’s scary to think about how recent these necessary changes have been. I learned a lot from you – thank you for sharing!

  14. I really appreciate your project, it actually goes along with mine (about Domestic Violence), I think people do not speak enough about the misinterpretations of many religious texts and how harmful those misinterpretations can be. This is a hard topic to discuss, and I am glad you did, especially because you did emphasize that marital rape is not seen as a crime in many countries. More people need to become aware about this type of abuse that happens within many marriages, and even more about how religion can be used to prolong such abuse or even justify it.

  15. Lara, you did a fantastic job on this project! As someone who went through the trenches trying to find copyright free images, I really appreciate your collage! The way you incorporated the image of a veiled woman covered with the darker text is very striking. This is such an interesting project, and I think you did a great job giving this topic the sensitivity it deserves. I think that your research into the criminalization of marital rape reveals some troubling themes about the treatment of married women as sexual objects. Just a really really good job!

  16. Your art is super capturing. Marital rape is a serious issue that continues to be influenced by religious teachings and patriarchy. To teach and display the pain of these wives is super impactful.

  17. I thought that your art is really beautiful and captures how women are often silenced by religious scripture. I was also really shocked to hear that marital rape was only criminalized in 1993. I truly learned a lot from this project and thank you for shedding light on such an important topic.

  18. I loved your artwork and the style that you did it in! The scriptures being in wavy and red text makes it stand out and adds depth to the message of how wives have to be good for their husbands. The contrast with the white background and red text makes the red stand out and shows the grasp that being a “good wife” has on a lot of religious-centered communities.

  19. This is so amazing and definitely impacted me! I hadn’t even fully considered how big of an issue marital rape is because it’s kept so quiet and swept under the rug for the sake of maintaining a marriage. You sparked an area in which I should definitely be more aware of.

  20. The first line in your presentation hits you like a ton of bricks. You don’t shy away from it. This reminds me a lot of Karen’s project in that sense. That abuse in any form is tolerable and sometimes even justified because a religion says that a woman is suppose to just allow herself to be taken advatange of. It’s disheartening to see that martial rape isn’t criminialized everywhere, my heart goes out to all the woman that have had to endure this form of pain and have themselves believe that they are doing a good thing for their husband. The image that you show us brings to light what you meant of the words in your religion haunting a woman, making her the ideal wife in contrast to the white room. Thank you for shedding light on this issue.

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